Monday, August 18, 2014
PBB ALL IN: You Know You Have Been JANE-uinely JANEYfied WHEN...
1. When you think that Charles throwing the rose and dashing to embrace Jane, was the cutest thing you have ever seen on television.
2. When you know who ‘Charles’ is.
3. Whenever you hear songs that she has – at one point or another—sung inside the HOUSE (Titanium, Born This Way, Tuliro, etc.), you hear her voice/her rendition inside your mind, and not that of the original singer.
4. When you know what “BiToucher” means. You revel in the idea of turning things with negative connotations into something positive. You are proud of the BiTouchers. And you think, “Like idol, like fans”. Haha.
5. You have become confused about the definition of “two-faced”. You always thought it was Harvey Dent. Call commissioner Gordon, quick! We need the bat light...
6. You have become “bi-polar”. Extremely joyful when all is well for her inside the House, and extremely sad-bordering-angry when things are not going well for her inside that big yellow thing.
7. Bi-polar, but NEVER two-faced. THAT you cannot accept. There is only one side to that description (pun definitely, positively intended). No good side.
8. You have never really been a fan of reality shows, and have never been one to go “ga-ga” over a celebrity/actress/actor, but you have been hooked to PPB All In because of Jane; and you have become your own worst “ga-ga” nightmare over her. And you are not ashamed of it.
9. You are seriously contemplating on committing arson if she gets evicted. Preferable object/target: something BIG and YELLOW. Ooops. Just joking. I guess?
10. When you sometimes find yourself typing BBE Kuya on your phone, when she is nominated and you think it is not fair.
11. You send that BBE Kuya anyway. It costs you money, but you laugh at the satisfaction you feel after sending it. And you do not doubt your sanity.
12. You wish to all tooth fairies that Kuya would be able to read it somehow. Just so he will know.
13. You find yourself lurking in Pex forums just to hunt for Jane-in-the-house news. You glare at the screen when you read bad news.
14. You do not have a Pex account, so you sign-up just so you can give your two cents in whatever-Jane-topics…
15. You are a lurker, and you see their posts about GTs and you envy them…but what can you do—you are an anti-social creature. But you are happy for them. You resume voting.
16. You have maxed-out your 30 votes on your sim and your other sim, so you bribe your sister, brother, friend (and whoever-else is susceptible to bribery…even cops you see in the streets?), so you can use their phone and VOTE some more.
17. You snatch their phones anyway when they refused your bribe. They give you the glare. And then YOU give them the glare, because their phones have no ‘load’. You say, “Poorita!”
18. You get butter-fingers during nomination weeks because of non-stop typing BB/BBS Jane on your phone. You are scared you will soon suffer from Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
19. You could not less if you suffer from CTS, so you type and send some more BB/BBS Jane.
20. During such times, Salonpas patches are your best friends. And you think, “ Like idol, like fans” while you put them on you upper arms, and shoulders.
21. You are an avid reader of the Classics, and so you revel at the fact that you know her names Elizabeth and Jane are the names of the siblings in that Jane Austen novel.
22. You know what novel it was.
23. You do not know the novel, or Jane Austen; so you google them, and you swear to at least try reading the book.
24. You know what “galawang poorita” is, and you willingly participate in it.
25. You randomly curse your being a poorita. You wish you can contribute more.
26. You still wring your hands whenever you remember that rap battle; and you pray that you will never forget it (well, at least until PBB ends)—because that was the time you vowed to do everything you can to help make her part of the Big4, and ultimately, the BW. Ubusan na ng yaman! And this is the part you curse your being a poorita again…
27. You try to watch Live Stream, even when you are too sleepy to even know what time it is already—and that they are probably off to Lala-Land.
28. You feel happy when you see the Twinny together, because it means less time with the eekie…. No, I do not know what an eekie is.
29. You take the jeepney going to work/school instead of taking a cab— Sayang, pang-dagdag votes din yun!
30. You skip lunch-outs, and settle for a pack of Fita or Butter Coconut— Sayang, pang-dagdag votes din yun!
31. When “touchy” will never be the same word, ever again. No matter what the dictionary says. (Be it Webster’s, Oxford, whatever…the word has been ruined.)
32. You roll your eyes whenever you hear the phrase “ No comment”. It reminds you of something else—something not so good.
33. You cried when no one chose her for that INSTA-SAVE task. You felt as though your mother left you in an island, in the middle of shark-infested water.
34. You cheered, and shouted “In your face!” to no one in particular (just the TV), when she won that challenge. And you started believing that “ONE head is better than TWO…”
35. You have discovered what “BUBOG” is, and you try to use it in a sentence as often as you can. However, you do try not harbor “bubog” for someone, because you know she does not harbor “bubog”—even for those who hurt her deliberately.
36. You cringe every time you see that black DORK shirt, but you secretly dream of owning and wearing one like it.
37. You double-cringe when you see that maroon jacket. And no, you do not dream of owning and wearing one like it.
38. You know she is from Going Bulilit.
39. You have seen “MANIKA” and you wonder why she is not more famous.
40. You have seen “MANIKA” more than three times, since PBB All In started. (You are tempted to watch it again…well, after reading this list. And Gotta vote first!).
41. You are positively irrevocably impressed at the level of maturity she is showing inside the House. She is not perfect, but she owns up to her mistakes. She tries to be a better person—not lash out.
42. You are a Globie. And you check LS, pex, twitter, etc., for PBB Jane update after work or school—when you know you should be resting or studying instead. You become something that closely resembles a Zombie.
43. You are a Globie, and so you are a BIG supporter of galawang poorita. Epins, cash, MOLAR support, etc. Ubusan na ng yaman!
44. You went “bi-polar” on Direk Cathy GM. Natural, initial reaction—you couldn’t help it (you tried to reason out afterwards). BUT you uttered, ‘We love you, Direk’ at the end of it all. And you sincerely do.
45. You had no idea who Jeron Teng was before PBB started (You are not a UAAP Trooper, not since college days), but you do now (ever since the debut). Even his jersey #. What happened?
46. You do not take PT at face value. Not since you noticed the bad edits. Not since like…the beginning?
47. If you were a shipper, you cried “Abandon Ship!” You did not want to see her sink with it.
48. You are so focused on voting, you forget the existence of your friends.
49. You have maxed out your votes, so you remember your dear pretty good friendly friends.
50. Your family members started saying, “I know you will do it/this/that, if Jane tells you so!” when you do not help with the chores etc., as you are busy with your online campaign/pex, twitter..etc.
51. You are almost 30 and you wonder why you are so caught up in the middle of these PBB shenanigans. But you want her as the Big Winner, because you believe in her. And so you do not mind the shenanigans. You vote, you donate.
52. You are over 30 and you wonder why you are so caught up in the middle of these PBB shenanigans. BUT you want her as the Big Winner, because you BELIEVE in her. And so you do not mind the shenanigans. You vote, you donate. MORE.
53. More than half of these confessions remind you of your funny, adorable, intelligent, and jane self...I mean, sane self.
54. You try to say it again—OUT LOUD, just to be more convincing— I am still funny, adorable, intelligent, and SANE. Go on. One more, eh?
55. You have found friendly friends in people you have met in Pex forums, twitter, etc. You bonded over something you all believe in.
56. You wonder if you are all crazy. You decided it does not matter.
57. You try to read through, until the end of this list even if your eyes are burning.
58. You are planning to go on a long, relaxing absolutely stress-free (and Salonpas-free) vacation—when the Big Night is over. The night when you hear that LONE ONE-SYLLABLE NAME proclaimed as the Big Winner. And you feel that you are as well.